Oblivious Men That Are Single For A Reason Part 2
It’s Hard not to feel sorry for some of these girls!
11. I was coming back home and I was at the bag pickup. This really cute girl and I started talking. The conversation was about how she was just visiting Miami and really didn’t know where to go. After a while we realized that we were the only two people who hadn’t gotten their bags cause we were at the wrong conveyor. After some joking and a trip to the baggage claim we got our bags and stayed there talking for a bit. My Mom called me telling me that she was outside. Said I had to go and I saw a small look of confusion/frown on her face. I got into the car and then it hit me: she wanted me to show her around town, duh. I just look at my Mom and said, “You have raised the biggest idiot on the planet.”
12. Hung out with girl regularly and she proceeds to walk me out to my car every night we are together. We stand around the car for 20 minutes having what seems to be awkward conversations every time. Did nothing and left.
13. Gave a girl a ride home, “Want to come in? My parents are at work.” Nah, I’m gonna go hang out with my buddies.
14. Girl comes over, changes into a pair of my boxers and lays in bed. Did nothing, wondered why she’s wearing them, they are obviously too big for her.
15. Drunk with friends playing card game. Two girls go upstairs and motion me to come. “Hold on, I need to finish this game.”
16. After dinner and a movie, we went to a convenience store, she told me to go inside and get “anything I needed”. So I come out with a bag of sun chips and two raspberry flavoured water bottles. She does a face palm.
17. High school, sophomore year. A really cute girl who lived down the street called me at around 10pm to say that her skirt zipper was broken and she couldn’t take it off. She goes on to say her family isn’t home and no one else is in the house to help her remove it, and could I come over and help her because “it’s an emergency”.
She adds that she’ll reward me with a glass of wine, since she just had one herself and her parents aren’t home.
I, being the utter genius that I am, walk her through (over the phone) how to dissect a zipper, complete with getting angry at her for being slow to get pliers from her dad’s garage like I directed her to do.
After hanging up I felt like a great citizen. Now when I look back on it, I realize I was an idiot.
18. Her: So this girl I know likes this guy I know but he’s been oblivious to all of her signals, so what does she have to do to tell him she likes him?
Me: I don’t know, just tell him she likes him?
Her: Like, “I like you?” Just like that?
Me: Yeah, like that.
Her: I like you.
Me: Yeah, tell her to tell him that, and she’ll be all set.
PAUSE
Her: …I like you.
Me: Yup, you’ve got it… was there anything else?
19. Girl made me a mix CD with gooey love songs. Listened to two, threw it away because the music sucks.
20. On a walk with a girl. “My hands are cold.” My thoughts “OH SWEET I BROUGHT GLOVES, SHE’LL LOVE THIS.” Procure gloves, girl says no thanks with a puzzled look. My thoughts: “What is she crazy? These are DESIGNED to warm up hands.”
You’ve just read, Oblivious Men That Are Single For A Reason Part 2. Why not read Manager Had To Hire A New Employee.