Doctors Share The Most Outrageous Stories About Their Dumbest Patients
Doctors were asked to share stories of the dumbest patients they have ever encountered. It is almost impossible to believe these hilarious stories could be true. Sadly, these dealings did occur with the world’s not-so-much best and brightest. Continue below to be astounded by the sheer stupidity.
1.
I am a dental student. One patient, in particular, is a pathological liar. During one visit, they claimed to have gone to medical school. Next visit they said that they were in the Royal Army Dental Corps. Last visit was that they had a PhD. The patient will say things like, “Hey doc, do you need me to move my head mesial or distal?”
No. I need you to move your head to the right.
“Hey doc, are these cavities being caused by the anaerobic pathology microbes?”
No. They are caused by you eating snacks all day and not brushing.
Macabalony
2.
I had a patient who was a young child. She came in with an extremely high blood glucose level. Once she was stable we did some teaching and kept her for a few days for observation. For some reason, every time I checked her, her levels would be extremely high, although we were appropriately treating her. Turns out her family would bring her fast food for every meal and hide it in the side table.
xxsheaxx
3.
Had a young woman with recurring urinary tract infections that began after a recent partner. She had no STDs and we went through the standard questions trying to figure out what could be causing them. We eventually found out that she had been lubricating with jelly. Not KY jelly. Like, Smucker’s.
It took me some effort to keep a straight face, but we eventually resolved the problem and she stopped getting UTIs.
rawrthesaurus
4.
Was working at a clinic. I was speaking with a non-controlled diabetic patient about her sugar intake and she said she drinks a 32 oz. soda every day. I ask her if it’s regular or diet, and she replies with “It’s half-regular. I let the ice melt first, so there isn’t as much sugar in it.” Sorry, but that isn’t how it works.
5.
A lady comes screaming into the ER. Now, she’s all dressed up, and so are her two grown daughters. All of them screaming hysterically that their mother is going to die. I go by them and nearly get tackled by the husband of one of the daughters. “Save her, she’s having an embolism.” Shaken, I examine the lady, asked her where she was coming from—a wedding, that explained the dress.
She apparently ate a bit too much of the potatoes that were served at the wedding. A shot of pantoprazole later, her embolism is gone.
She just had a bad case of gas.
6.
Paramedic here. I transported a guy who was adamant about only using homeopathic medicine, natural/healthy living, etc. He was refusing meds/interventions/X-rays on this basis. He also smoked a pack a day. The ED doc called him on this nonsense with something along the lines of “You smoke, so you’re not that homeopathic, you’re getting a chest X-ray.”
You’ve just read, Doctors Share The Most Outrageous Stories About Their Dumbest Patients. Why not read Confused Teacher Gets Frustrated By Student’s Dumb Answers.