Funny

Husband Gets On The Bathroom Scales …What He Says Next Is Pure Gold A woman was watching her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this movement, she commented: “I don’t think that is going to help.” “Sure it will,” he said….. …“It’s the […]

Two Men Go On A Fishing Trip …This Is Brilliant Two men go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment – the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. The first day that they go fishing, they don’t catch anything. The same thing

Old Married Couple Wake Up One Morning …This Is Priceless An older couple wakes up in the morning. The husband looks over at his wife and says “Wow! You wouldn’t believe the dream I had”. The wife replies: “Yes, go on tell me”. So the husband says: “I had a dream that you left me

Two Old Friends Catch Up …This Will Make You Laugh Out Loud Two lifelong friends got together for a drink one day. “Mike, I’m in a terrible pickle,” the first man stated. “I’m strapped for cash, my rent is due tomorrow and I haven’t the slightest idea where I’m going to get it from!” “Well,

Circus Performer Was Pulled Over By Police …This Is Brilliant A circus performer was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. “What are those for?” she asked suspiciously. “I’m a juggler,” the man replied. “I use those in my act.”

Tourist Approaches Local Man For Directions …This Is Brilliant A confused man with a map in his hand approached a local man in the city he was visiting. “What’s the quickest way to get downtown?” he asked. The local man scratched his head, and said: “Are you walking or driving?” “I’m driving,” the tourist replied. “Yup,

Little Johnny Got In Trouble At School …What He Says At The End Is Priceless Little Johnny came home from school and said to his mother “Mummy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.” The mother exclaimed “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about

Old Man Enters a Busy Florist Shop …This Is Brilliant A gentleman entered a busy florist shop displaying a large sign that read “Say It With Flowers.” “Wrap up one rose,” he told the florist. “Only one?” the florist asked. “Just one,” the customer replied. “I’m a man of few words.” You’ve just read, Old

Man Approaches The Local Drunk …This Will Make You Laugh Out Loud A man approached the local drunk at the bar. He said: “I heard you are extremely quick at math.” The drunk slurred back: “Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am.” The man asked: “Whats 14 x 27?” “49,” the drunk answered

Little Johnny Goes Running Home To His Dad …This Is Brilliant Little Johnny came rushing inside in a frantic mess after playing cricket in the back yard. Puffing, he ran up to his dad and asked: “Dad! Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?” “That’s what they say,” said his