Bricklayers Hilarious Accident Report …This Is Guaranteed To Make You Laugh
Possible the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer’s accident report which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Worker’s Compensation Board. This is a true story. Had the guy died, he’d have received a Darwin Award for sure!!
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident.
You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade.
On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six storey building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at the ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the Accident Report form that I weigh135lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.
This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the Accident Report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of beginning to experience pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly.
The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope, and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your enquiry.
Kind regards
Mike Pashby
You’ve just read, Bricklayers Hilarious Accident Report. Why not read Grandfather of the Year.