If Men Made Rules …Number 14 Is Brilliant
Just a warning for all those easily offended! This is purely for humor and in no way inclines that ALL men/women are like this. It is just an over exaggeration of stereotypes and in no way is this meant to cause offense*
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl
If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down
You don’t hear us b!tching about you leaving it down.
2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
3.Sometimes we are not thinking about you
Live with it.
4.Saturday = sports
It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides
Let it be.
5.Don’t cut your hair. Ever
Long hair is always more attractive than short hair
One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.
6.Shopping is NOT a sport
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
7.Ask for what you want
Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
8.We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar
Remind us frequently beforehand.
9.Most guys own three pairs of shoes – tops
What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
10. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
11.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do!
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
12.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
13.If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us!
We refuse to answer.
14.If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
15.Let us ogle… We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
16.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done – Not both
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
17. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
18.Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
19.The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out
Get over it and quit whining to your girlfriends.
20.ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour
We have no idea what mauve is.
21.If it itches, it will be scratched
We do that.
22.We are not mind readers and we never will be
Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
3.If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
24.If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
25.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
26.Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the offside rule, or monster trucks.
27.You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
No NO you really do have too many shoes.
28.BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
29.I’m in shape
ROUND is a shape.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
You’ve just read, If Men Made Rules . Why not read Boy Asks His Father For Help With A School Assignment On Politics